Executive summary. I launched myself into the process of auditing my life style light-heartedly. Most of the tasks seemed fairly manageable. As the boot camp progressed, I could not help questioning the way I am using the last quarter century of my life. The tasks seemed at first to be unrelated, but they have interacted in a way that has shaken me profoundly. The shakeup is horrible and excellent and inevitable. I'll get there, wherever it is.
I've graded myself out of 10 for each task. But the overall grade is certainly not an average of the task grades, because since I began the boot camp, the ground has shifted beneath me, and I'm not talking about earthquakes.
- Adapt housing for old age: 6.5 OK. Good enough.
- Get finances in order: 0 Ghastly mess. Fail. Give me time.
- Establish an exercise regime: 8 Brilliant, but no margin for error.
- Audit eating habits: 10 Piece of cake! (Drink more water, but.)
- Commit to hobbies: 10 Yep, plenty to sing about there.
- Make two new friends: 10 It's a pleasure!
- Banish ye oldie voice: 7 Patchy, but I have helpful techniques and more understanding.
- Learn a new skill: 10 Give me a break! I'm on a boot camp, for crying out loud!
- Cultivate meditation techniques: 6 Very modest gains.
- Align happiness factors: No grade. I'm confused. Ask me in a year's time.
- Be who you are: 3 Fail. Sort of. But I'll get there. As they say, it's complicated.
- Come to terms with old age and death: 1 No way. But moments of insight.
Overall grade for the boot camp: 4/10?
I'm not worried about this. Honestly. Cross my heart. I'll come out the other end fine, better than before. Trust me. I know the pain is worth it. Most likely. Possibly.
Interim verdict: Rachel must stop trying, or at least try less hard.
Hey, happy new year!
By happy, I don't mean ecstasy all the way, 24 peak experiences per day. I mean something softer, steadier and sweeter.
For me, 2016 will be happy. For that matter, 2015 has been a happy year, outside of and beneath and beyond the confusion and worry I have managed to generate in my life.
I'm curious about what sort of a life I will create in 2016. Change is exciting. Change happens anyway, and now I'm well primed to experience it as a positive force.
Anyway, that's the plan, Stan. (Can't help myself!)
Image from "Emblems Divine and Moral" (1839) Francis Quarles. Internet Archive Book Images. Public domain.